Fuggin Blog V 3.0

2005-08-11T03:17:00.000-04:00

Yeah...so this is the last post for this blog...kinda been a sad couple of days for me...but, somehow life goes on I guess.

Goodbye and thanks for reading my shit for the past year or so.

Lance

Platinum

you can't escape what makes you tragic you know
vicious 'cause you want to be
leaving time possessed to please you
what might have been
was never the way you envisioned things
so difficult to stop pretending
what's this to you anyway

turn down the voluptuous
keeping close to me again
hold back your virtues
you're fearless in motion

you found your way
so why keep asking me
nothing common suits you
you live again in solitary
look away for now
beautiful alone now
who decides to settle down
maybe nobody really cares
what's this to you anyway

something dirty's got you dear
makes me want to be with you
something painful's with you dear
makes me want to be with you

you're better off saying nothing
wish for a happy ending
you're better off saying nothing
repent so all's forgiven

2005-08-10T05:29:00.000-04:00

Fade To Black

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can’t be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he’s gone

No one but me can save myself, but it’s too late
Now I can’t think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

2005-08-08T03:18:00.000-04:00

So everyone made it to my house safe yesterday...Logan got here first and we had a couple of hours to hang out before the girls got here...so I introduced him to UFC...at first he kinda thought it was like ECW or something until the blood started flowing...lol...I think he kinda got a kick out of it, said he never watched it. The girls rolled in about 12:30 or so and we had a few beers then Dave and Baird showed up and hung out with us for a while..was cool...and Dave was in rare form...lol...the yankees got a kick out of his accent...lol.

So they left out today and me and Colleen went to see Def Leppard and Brian Adams...Def Lep. were great...played most of the hits...lasted about and hour and a half or so...nothing new really...couple of covers and thats about it....called tina so she could hear hysteria but it was so loud i dont think she could make it out...lol. This is the first time I have seen Brian Adams and I was impressed...he sounds great live and you dont really realize just how many hits that guy has until about an hour in to the set and you are thinking..damn there are still a couple of big hits left in the bag still to play...lol...overall great show...Def Lep. have slowed down a lot since the last time I saw them...but then again I guess I have to...we had a great time and it was just good to spend some time together and hang out for a change.

Tomorrow we are going to Bristol to catch a movie and then back over to the Breaks tomorrow night to hang out...I took her there last year with Karen but we are going at night and that place is a different world at night...hope it's not raining...either way it should be cool...it's one of my favorite places in the world.

That's it for now...and here's a little Def Lep:
Promises

Last night I was blown away
I said a million things I’d never say
I was knocked right down, it got to me
Gonna get me some of your chemistry

You want me to promise you
That everything is true

I won’t make promises that I can’t keep
I won’t make promises that I don’t mean
I’ll even mean the things I tell you in my sleep, yeah
I won’t make promises babe, that I can’t keep

Oh my my, I lost control
I told you everything, I said it all
You came right out and said to me
Gonna get me some of your honesty

You want me to promise you
That everything is true

I won’t make promises that I can’t keep
I won’t make promises that I don’t mean
I’ll even mean the things I tell you in my sleep, yeah
I won’t make promises babe, that I can’t keep

You want me to promise you
That everything is true

I won’t make promises that I can’t keep
I won’t make promises that I don’t mean
I’ll even mean the things I whisper in my sleep
Oh, let me tell you
I won’t say a single word darling, that you can’t believe
You gotta believe me

I won’t make promises that I can’t keep
Oh baby believe me now
I won’t make promises that I don’t mean
Oh why won’t you believe me now
I’ll even mean the things I whisper in my sleep, yeah
I won’t make promises that I can’t keep baby, you gotta believe me

2005-08-04T22:11:00.000-04:00

Randomness part 39:

Mindbinge: so who was the guy you were talking about
Mindbinge: works for a big band or whatever...production manager
Zeta Vande: huh?
Zeta Vande: oh
Zeta Vande: works for Nickelback
Mindbinge: did he have a mullet?
Zeta Vande: no, lmao
Mindbinge: damn

2005-08-04T08:10:00.000-04:00

I have decided when Tina comes to visit to take her to football games and teach her how to be a man...lmfao. She must also learn how to properly scratch her balls in public and adjust the package so as not to attract maximum attention when in public...unless playing baseball...in which case it is ok to just grab the boys and move the house at will.

Work has been a bitch this week...unreal..glad it's almost over.

Colleen, Janelle, and Logan will be here Sat night...should be a good time, have a few things planned and I'm off until Wed :)

more later...

2005-07-31T08:36:00.000-04:00

Interview went ok...kinda draining...lot of brainpower wasted on that one.

anyway..out for the day.

gone.

2005-07-29T10:34:00.000-04:00

day off...

Have that interview tomorrow...going to knock that out and finish up on that job thing...hope it goes well and I move on up to management...might end up being a good thing...i'll be stuck there for 6 months then start trying to move on up the ladder again...pretty much every 6 months you can move up if you have your shit together.

Also working on a special project at work...they have been doing a lot of things with me over the past month, wasn't really sure why until now...they only hand pick a few people for certain things and they seem to pick me a lot for this stuff...so guess that is good? This one is a pretty big one, can't really say anything about it but it's straight from the top of the ladder...which is cool.

Going to the bank(s), then to look at a house I might buy...then probably over to my parents for a few, then to the movies, then hopefully meet up with Chris and some friends and go bowling or soemthing...if not I'll get up with Dave and Baird and do soemthing...or if not I can just hang out at the house and drink a few beers and work on some music shit that's in my head I haven't had time to work on...got the lyric shit (see below) done for the most part, will still need some work though - just need to tab out the music before I forget...

Just a work in progress...

Always right you're never wrong
in your head rings silence
if you had an original thought
it would die of loneliness

emptyness is all around you
how does it feel to be like me
do you wish you could complain
would it make your life complete

don't blame me
for what you suffer
don't blame me
for what you have done
don't blame me
for things you tell me
don't blame me
because I no longer feel

tattoo yourself to cover scars
a train wreck emotional
feeling you can't take the pain
does it really help to hide them

inside you can't hide from me
telling lies controls you
lost in what you have become
can you hear me now

don't blame me
for what you suffer
don't blame me
for what you have done
don't blame me
for things you tell me
don't blame me
because I no longer feel

do you hear me now

2005-07-28T10:28:00.000-04:00

one more day...lol

some cool stuff on the way if everything goes as planned...more later.

Could Colleen be moving here and going to Va Tech? Will Miss Tina come to visit this fall? All this and more in a future Blog...lol.

Laterz!~

2005-07-24T02:51:00.000-04:00

Went to see Devil's Reject's Friday night with Baird and Dave...was pretty cool flick...I guess if you didn't know or "get" the retro camera angles and extreme close up nature of the film which is a nod to the old horror flicks of the 60's then you wouldn't really "get" the movie as much as someone who did...it was kewl...I enjoyed it...had a lot of Hitchcock influence as far as production, which I liked. :)

had a good conversation with Colleen tonight...can't wait to see her again :(

Tina called also...have not talked to her in forever...shes crazy...lol :)

Riff's hatin'... :(

Gisselle called...didn't get to talk to her yet though... :)

went out for Mexican tonight...Chicken Quesadilla :)

Lou called...server is fucking up...it was for real this time though...not just Lou thinking it was...lol :(

Jay called...talked to him for a few...finished getting things straight to stay at his place when we go out to LA... :)

2005-07-22T12:26:00.000-04:00

went to the doc's today...down 26 pounds in the last 30 days...was hoping for 30 lbs. but i'll take it...not bad i guess...just want to get my shit together.

going to the bank and to get a hair cut and some other shit today...might go see Collective Soul tonight with some friends from work...or Devils Rejects...not sure which yet...might go bowling again tomorrow night for a few...not sure on that yet either...i have management classes tomorrow at work...they picked 18 people out of about 600-700...so I guess it is cool I was included in the bunch.

anyway..i'm out.

2005-07-19T10:47:00.000-04:00

Is it Friday yet?

I didn't feel so great last night so I crashed out kinda early, then the phone started ringing and the fun began...5 hours later I was finally going back to sleep...lol.

Have a few things to do over the next couple of weeks, then Aug. will be a busy month...Colleen will be here for a few days around the 5th and then we are going to LA on the 19th...looks like we'll be staying at Jay's place so that will be fun I'm sure. We have been able to spend a lot of time together this summer and it's been really great so far...wouldn't trade those memories for anything. She'll be back down in Sept for a few days to go see a football game then I'm taking her to see NIN in Oct around her birthday...so short term things look cool. :)

Not much else going on...this Friday I'm going to start working around the house a lot...getting things packed up and thrown away...and I'll be looking for a storage place that doesn't flood out here...going to go ahead and rent one and just pay it by the year I guess...put the majority of my shit in there so I can move when I want without problems. Not sure if it will be somewhere here or to Cali yet...but I'm going to be moving at some point...a lot depends on what happens at work, seems like some things are about to change for me there and it might change what I do in the near future...if it's something that I think might lead to a legit shot at moving up in to the upper levels of the Empire (lol) then I might go after it. Have to wait and see what happens...they are already breaking policy to move me up as it is...so that in itself combined with things I hear and meetings I have and stuff like that are making me curious as to what lies ahead...it's interesting.

2005-07-17T16:28:00.000-04:00

ah well...bad news is i can't fix my car...have to put it in the shop and see if I need a full transmission rebuild or just synchronizers...won't know until they get it open...sucks ass. Was going to wash and wax it but as my luck always goes it's fuckin raining...so I just came home.

Fuck it all and no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free
Fuck it all and fuck regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
Medallion noose I hang myself
St. Anger round my neck

***side note I hate the drum sounds on that fuckin' cd...sounds like trash cans...lol.

2005-07-17T10:40:00.000-04:00

Going to work on my car today over at Dave's house...

Gone...

The Bitter Pill

sometimes i'm lost
and then i'm found
sometimes i feel
turned inside out
i'm often silent
when i'm screaming inside
instead of love
we tend to hate
we never quite appreciate
how much the other person cares or tries

hold me close
don't ever let me go
i'm confused
maybe some day i will know why
sometimes i'm right as rain
and when it rains it pours
you're such a mystery
why can't I unlock the door
all that glitters isn't gold
too much is overkill
love can be beautiful
or a bitter pill

and when i'm right
i'm also wrong
we give and take
to get along
there's so much more to this than I ever dreamed
and when you smile
i have to laugh
and when you cry
i'm torn in half
so calm and yet so loose at the seams

love can be beautiful
or a bitter pill

2005-07-17T01:34:00.000-04:00

Last night was fun...ended up going to see Fantastic 4 then met up with Chris and Heather from work...we went to O'Charlie's and I got a little hammered...then we all went bowling for a couple of hours...of which I out-bowled the other drunks with a score of 95...lmfao. Went back to Heathers for a few after the fact and hung out for a while...was good times for a while...ended up going to bed about 7am and getting up at 930 to go to work.

tonight I just hung out with some friends and decided to come home early and hang out on the net for a few then go to bed...guess everyone else is to busy to call or something because the phone has been silent...who fuckin cares right? lol...been thinking of going in to seclusion for a few weeks and not taking any personal calls for a while anyway...have this trip in Aug on the way...and the Def Leppard thing maybe...fuck...idk anymore...

anyway...fuck it all and no regrets.

Later.

2005-07-15T14:11:00.000-04:00

I'm out to do a few things, figured I would check in...the day off was much needed today because I have a ton of stuff to do...was lazy and slept late though...lol..oh well.

Anyway...yeah so things are kinda strange these days all around...and all of the sudden there is calm...this year has been wide open and crazy as can be then now...the last week things have gone calm...been a boring week overall...got a new phone...it's bad ass...love it. Then there are other things going on that no one really knows about...secrets here and there at work and personal shit....things are just brewing that could change things overall...I'm back in to a period of now not knowing what will happen in the future with anything...I've thought about shit for hours and just decided to go back to living day to day and not worry about shit anymore...actually had a conversation with Colleen a few days ago that really was productive for me in a lot of ways...just shit I am dealing with right now in general...she's really very smart and I value her input on things...she always looks at things from a different angle than I do, no matter what it is we are talking about...I like that about her a lot...she always seems to point out something that I hadn't considered or thought about.

I've been talking to Gisselle about a lot of things lately also...shes insane so that's yet another vantage point...lmfao...she's actually pretty cool and I enjoy talking to her...we've been friends for about a year or so and it's pretty funny how things work out...she told me the other day that she had actually "liked" me for a while now...which was kinda weird because I had never considered that at all...I actually hooked her up with a good friend of mine that lives near her a couple of months ago and they are kinda talking now so I hope that works out...would be cool if they end up together I think...and as far as we go, we're just sticking to being friends.

Riff dropped off the planet again for a few days...ended up calling me today...was cool to catch up with her on what's been going on for a few minutes. Not much else going on besides all this crap...

Later...I'm out till late tonight.

2005-07-12T10:59:00.000-04:00

off to work...just checking email...didn't get much sleep as usual...but whatever...nothing new to me.

One good thing though...I had all my shit in the laundry and was to lazy to walk down here so I grabbed this shirt out of the closet I bought a couple of years ago that has always been to small...I got it in Atlanta on a trip a while back and liked it but figured out I got the wrong size when I got it home...well it fits now...lol...so I guess the speed shit is working. I was shocked because I just tried it back about a month or so and it was just to tight.

So i'll take it...

I also have no cell phone for a couple of days while mine is being replaced...so if you try to call me hit the home phone. I am getting one of the new Motorola e815 phones... if you are curious just hit google.

Later...and hope you guys have a good day.

2005-07-12T03:32:00.000-04:00

got the new Orgy DVD in today...completed package kinda thing and I have to say it was much better than I expected...I don't know what more the fans could want? It's really good. It would have been nice if they would have just put a whole live show on there or something as a bonus because I still don't think it really captures the live aspect of the band, and they are really good live... but...whatever.

I guess I might be moving up to management at work? not sure what thats all about or if I will even accept it or not...I guess I should be happy but I'm really like "who cares?"...so...bleh.

I've been thinking about my whole situation a lot and I'm really starting to become a bit jaded...I am not all that inspired to move anymore and I'm just kinda stuck in this dead zone that seems to be my life...best described as limbo I suppose. Just wish something cool would happen and things would feel right for a change.

I don't know...been a long day and I just don't have the will to do much more tonight...guess I'll go stare at the celing for a while as usual.

Later...I leave you with some Def Leppard...who I might see on Aug 7th with Bryan Adams in Charleston WV at some ball park?

"Miss You In A Heartbeat"

I believe that there's something deep inside
That shouldn't be from time to time
I sure found out, thought love was such a crime
The more you care, the more you fall
No need to worry, no need to turn away
'Cause it don't matter, anyway

I miss you in a heartbeat
I miss you right away
I miss you in a heartbeat
'cause it ain't love
if it don't feel that way
oh no

When we touch
I just lose my self control
A sad sensation I can't hide
To love is easy, it ain't easy to walk away
I keep the faith and there's a reason why
No need to worry
No need to turn away
'Cause it don't matter anyway
baby

I miss you in a heartbeat
Yeah I miss you right away
I miss you in a heartbeat
'cause it ain't love
if it don't feel that way

Now, I ain't big on promises
But I'll be true to you
'Cause I'd do 'bout anything, yeah
for some one like, baby for you

I miss you in a heartbeat
yeah I miss you right away
oh, I'm gonna miss you in a heartbeat
'cause it ain't love
if it don't feel that way

2005-07-10T10:34:00.000-04:00

ended up getting a call from Darius and Dean from Hootie last night about 4am...had not talked to them in forever so we just did some catching up for about 30-40 min...was really good to hear from them again...they have some stuff on the way, would be nice to see them on top again one more time...I remember first meeting them in Myrtle Beach back in the day and thinking they were cool as fuck because they had a couch in their practice space...lol...none of the other bands in the warehouses had that...they had "Camp Hootie" set up like a lounge or something...eh...anyway it was cool...couldn't sleep again so I just broke out some old Hootie and listened for a while...I sure miss a lot of my old friends sometimes.

Anyway...a little Hootie for the song of the day:

"Before The Heartache Rolls In"
There's a chill in your kiss
And a thrill I've been missing too long
This love is deceiving babe
I'm believing
This thing's going wrong
'Cause your eyes betray your heart and soul
And your love for me is growing old
And I think maybe I'd better pack my bags and
Roll like the wind
Better roll 'till the highway ends
Gonna roll on outta here
Before the heartache rolls in
There's a lonesome sound that keeps rolling
'Round inside of me
Those wheels on the highway are whining on by
Baby I gotta leave
If I don't get out now while my minds in control
Then I'll never be able to ever let go
And I think maybe I better head outta here and
Roll like the wind
Better roll 'till the highway ends
Gonna roll on outta here
Before the heartache rolls in

2005-07-08T23:45:00.000-04:00

shitty day...(again)

2005-07-08T03:15:00.000-04:00

long night...just listening to some Cinderella...can't sleep as usual...at least i'm off tomorrow.

I can’t tell ya baby what went wrong
I can’t make you feel what you felt so long ago
I’ll let it show
I can’t give you back what’s been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that’s left are the words
I can’t let go
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time, let me know
If you really want to go

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

I can’t feel the things that cause you pain
I can’t clear my heart of your love it falls like rain
Ain’t the same
I hear you calling far away
Tearing through my soul I just can’t take another day
Who’s to blame
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

Do you wanna see me beggin’ baby
Can’t you give me just one more day
Can’t you see my heart’s been draggin’ lately
I’ve been lookin’ for the words to say

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone no
Don’t know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It’s just this song
And it ain’t easy to get back
Takes so long

2005-07-07T04:27:00.000-04:00

still kinda "bleh" about everything...

don't really know what to say...so...just checking in so to speak.

2005-07-05T03:56:00.000-04:00

made it back...

work tomorrow...which should be fun...i'm really not in to it, might just call in and skip...or maybe just quit all together...idk...i dont really know where to go from where I am right now...everything in my life is seemingly going in different directions...pretty much just a fucked up situation everywhere you look...idk...the shit gets old sometimes...i wish i could just sleep and forget shit...not care...be numb...be me...be someone else for a while...anything...just to get away from it for a few minutes...i hate the way i feel right now. :(

so, anyway...this weekend was to say the least, interesting...i'm not sure overall how it will evolve...lots of things could happen...some of which are just crazy to even ponder.

Friday...well...Friday was...fuck i don't even know what to say...just leave it at that...long ass ride and lots of shit on my mind...makes for a bad combo. :(

Sat...went up north...not even sure where the fuck i was or if i could pronounce it correctly if i did know...didn't matter...hung out with Colleen, Janelle, and Karen...got to meet Colleen's brother Logan for the first time...awesome dude...very fun person to be around...really liked the guy a lot. He had some of his friends there also...Casey-(spelling?) who kinda looked like a skinhead but was pretty funny and seemed like a pretty cool dude...and this dude named Timmy who wasn't really part of the regular crowd...kinda spacey kid...Colleen said too much weed maybe? IDK...then there is Kyle...this dude cracked me up...funny as fuck...little short guy, aparantly couldn't even walk a few years ago and was in a wheelchair...now he's out riding Jetski's and shit...overall just a funny ass guy...made me laugh all weekend and probably tried to interact with me more than anyone else did...and I appreciated that. Colleen's mom and stepdad were there also...I had met them before...her mom is awesome...always gives me a big hug...very nice lady...her stepdad Rick didn't really say much...don't know if he likes me or not...doesn't really matter though either way...although you want people to like you ya know? Don't have any reason to think he wouldn't...just saying...didn't really get to interact with him much...we did have a somewhat lengthy conversation about tires on the boat dock when no one else was around though...so...lol.

Sunday...more of the same shit...just hung out with everyone...not much private time all weekend...for the most part there were alwasy 5 or 6 people around...which was cool I guess...went back to Colleen's house today about 3 or so...didn't really stay there long...maybe 10 min or so and I was on the road...long ride home....got in about 1:30am.

So anyway...as lou would say...to make a long story short...overall a cool weekend...had a great time meeting everyone and hanging out...as for me and Colleen...there is a lot of personal shit we still have to sort out between us...the whole situation really sucks sometimes, but I think there is enough good that happens from time to time that makes us both realize it's something we need to hang on to...whatever that is?

For now...I guess I'm going to try to go sleep and forget shit...although I'm sure it's going to be one of those nights where I toss and turn and stare at the celing...ever been there?

Of all the songs I could post, for now I think I'll stick to some Savatage...My buddy Criss Olivia's (R.I.P.) band...they had a song back a few years ago called Sleep...always liked it.

Goodbye.

Sleep
Hey there you
Way out there in the distance
Can you hear me
Are you there

I know it's late
So please forgive my persistence
But I'm hanging
Do you care

So lay back
Call off the attack
Cause if you look deep
Dreams are nothing that I lack
And all I seek
A final chance to speak
And I would let the whole thing keep
If I could just sleep

Hey there you
Way out there could you show me
Just a signal
Or a sign
That after all
All these years that you've known me
And I'm not just killing time

So lay back
Call off the attack
Cause if you look deep
Dreams are nothing that I lack
And all I seek
A final chance to speak
But I would let the whole thing keep
If I could just sleep

As I lay there late at night
Building castles in the air
Out of alibis and all those little lies
And then I look inside
And pray that I don't care

I don't care

I don't care

Hey there you way out there in the distance

2005-06-30T09:47:00.000-04:00

Mustang is in the shop undergoing some much needed repairs...
-New starter
-New U-Joints
-New filler nozzle gasket
-New Fuel Filter
-Oil Change
-Replace Transmission fluid and Gear Oil

Should get things running good again and hopefully they will do a good job because I am out of here at about 8am or so tomorrow going to see the asshat. Nice little 11 hour test drive...lol. I'd rather have a couple of days to drive it around here in case they screwed something up...but oh well...not to be.

So I've been taking these pills now for a week and a half...not sure if they are doing me any good or not yet? I'm not really eating anything, maybe once a day at the most, and then it's a salad and a healthy choice microwave meal...so something has to give at some point. I'm just going to stick with it for 30 days and go back to the doc and see what they say...hopefully I'll start showing some progress by then and can just keep doing what I'm doing...because I'm not really having a problem sticking to this...I just drink water all day then eat what I said earlier at night.

The last few days have been a little stressed...I guess just wanting to get the hell out of here has a lot to do with it. Will be nice to just go relax for a weekend and not have to think about shit. Probably get home really late monday night then drag ass in to work on tuesday...lol. Hopefully I'll get some good pics. Fun times.

Anyway...might hit the blog one more time tonight before I go...if not...It'll probably be Tuesday night before I'm heard from again.

Laterz!

2005-06-29T03:38:00.000-04:00

yeah so today was not so great...I'm all "emo" tonight and shit...guess I should just go to bed :(

Niterz...

2005-06-26T14:47:00.000-04:00

Lost of shit to do today...

-max sig website shit.
-working on new chat room for the Orgy site
-working on flash for the new Orgy DVD
-convert Orgy Marketing planner for DVD to a website and upload to server for online access.
-billing for my ISP and web shit (late...must do!)
-call Thorn (can't forget- important RIAA shit..assuming I can get ahold of him...lol)
-start planning trip to LA in Aug. (probably be out there Aug 19th - Aug 23rd)
-lots of laundry and house cleaning to do (hate that shit)
-call Jay about a new project we will be working on.
-upgrade server software on all my servers and make sure nothing crashes...(crosses fingers)
-going to the track for about an hour or so tonight about 10pm I think.
-dog food...gotta go get my mutt's some food...lol.

that's all i can think of for now...lol.

Just realized this is my last day off before I go see the asshat :) should be cool getting to meet her brother and hanging out for a couple of days...I am in need of a short vacation already so couldn't have come at a better time...lol. Hopefully I will get some of the stuff I have ordered for the Mustang in by Wed so I can get it worked on Thursday because I am out of here on Friday...so would be cool to have it in top shape for the trip if possible...if not it will probably be ok anyway...just getting a few things that need to be replaced...I love my car though...lol.

that's about it...i'm out for now and back to work...just figured i would take a break to blog cuz i was getting a bit bored with it all...lol.

Laterz!

2005-06-25T04:21:00.000-04:00

Ok kiddies...are we ready for our weekly trip in to the Twilight Zone?????

Check this shit out...maybe I'm just having a lack of sleep moment here or something...lol...you know the random shit I posted a few days ago?

What is patient
Always kind...
Does not complain
What will always find the time
And bares no blame
Doesn't act boastfully...
Or suffer from jealousy
Try and be arrogant
Just another thing it can't
Doesn't need to see the end
Never unbecoming
It provokes not in argument
Takes the wrong in to account
Rejoices in the truth not the righteous
Forgives when at blame
And bares no shame
Doesn't act boastfully...
Or suffer from jealousy

ok so I'm randomly surfing through the blogs...clicked on the next blog link...and found this:

Love is long suffering,
love is kind,
it is not jealous,
love does not boast,
it is not inflated.

It is not discourteous,
it is not selfish,
it is not irritable,
it does not enumerate the evil.
It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth

It covers all things,
it has faith for all things,
it hopes in all things,
it endures in all things.

kinda fucked up...

but...gets better...lol...so I'm thinking wtf?

So guess where that comes from?

The bible...1 Corinthians chapter 13

and I dont read the bible...never have....

o_0

2005-06-25T01:02:00.000-04:00

So playing music went well, was good to hang out with just the guys from the old school and throw down again...sang a couple of VH songs and one Metallica...everyone was like wtf? because I never sang when we played in the past...I don't have much of a range but if I stick to what I do I get by ok...it was kinda funny seeing everyone's reaction...lol. We started out with Sandman, which is easy to play and sing...at least it is for me anyway so i felt comfortable with that one...then we did Ain't Talkin' About Love and I finished up with Dance The Night Away...funny part was when I let out the first words of Sandman everyone turned around and looked like "omg"...there were about 15 of us there I guess...couple I didn't know...one was a friends kid who is now in a band of his own and they were all there and played to...it was a cool thing...old school meets new school and we had a blast...no chicks...just the guys and everyone there played something...so we just swapped off and had fun...Roger's kid afterwards asked if i wanted to sing with them...lmfao...i was like nah man i'm only good for 3 songs dude...lol...which is about the truth unless it's Metallica shit...lol...anything else my voice just isn't strong enough and gets strained. Anyway I thought it was cool...Brad rode over there with me and on the ride back about half way home he was like "hey how come you never told me you could sing? "...lol...I guess because back then I probably couldn't...idk why but it's something I couldn't really do until about 5 years ago or so...weird.

Anyway...enough about that shit...it was fun...one of the coolest songs of the night was an acoustic deal that Brad and K.T. did with an old G'N'R song...it was cool...made me think about shit...I guess that's why music is what it is...makes you think about shit....

Song of the day:

Patience

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now
Said woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar make it slow
And we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
Patience...

Sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear
Sometimes, I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love, there's one more thing to consider
Said woman take it slow
Things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, Oh never break it
'Cause I can't take it

Need a little patience,
Just a little patience,

I've been walking these streets at night
Just trying to get it right (Need some patience)
It's hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience)
And the streets don't change but maybe the name
I ain't got time for the game
'Cause I need you (Patience)
Yeah, yeah well I need you
Oh, I need you (Take some patience)
Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need)
this time....

2005-06-24T12:20:00.000-04:00

uh yeah...wow I was kinda fucked up last night with the whole no sleep thing when i blogged...lol.

anyway...so I am going to play music tongiht, should be fun times...have to restring the Vandenberg today and do a little work on it i've been putting off for a while now...so thats good...have not played with a band in a couple of years and I'm more than ready to go, might even sing a couple tonight...idk.

lots to do today...time is short...gotta run.

Laterz

2005-06-24T05:31:00.000-04:00

i think i have slept like 8 hours all week total...kinda fucked up.

this week has been the best i can remember in many years...things are changing...and so far they have been very good and are looking up for a change.

so...the final countdown begins...only 7 more days until the weekend of the 4th...i'm going up to see Colleen and visit for a few days...want to get out of here for a while anyway....looks to be a fun trip :) *you know i'm always up for a road trip...lol. Anywho...i'll be there the 1st - 4th.

ah some more drama at work today....lol...getting crazy.

oh and funny thing was my supervisor saying the president of Cingular was coming to our office and he wanted to know if i had any questions for him...i just looked at him...lol...he was like wtf? it was a great moment...i mean like for real wtf am i supposed to say that....lol.

anyway i'm fuckin delirious from madniggerish lack of sleep...

2005-06-23T07:34:00.000-04:00

7:30am...i'm off to get my 2 hours of sleep before work...lol.

Random thought of the day:
Sometimes if you are lucky in life, someone comes along and blows your world away....might not be at the best time or place, but you only have one life to live and one shot to make it work. Don't ever waste it...

niterz!

2005-06-21T04:12:00.000-04:00

wow...lol...what a night. :)

4:30am and i cant sleep so here is something kewl to read...lol...oh yeah...loop it!

It's about this constant addiction
About this greater demand
As I reach for the laugh with only seconds left
I'm getting deeper

It's about this constant addiction
About this greater demand
As I reach for the laugh with only seconds left
I'm getting deeper

And did you say that you were happy
'cause I won't leave you alone
I need the push to allude to things I have to say
To what I have to say

There's a time and a place we hide behind
An alternative face
When the freak needs a nurse you comply
With the fools in mind

There's a time and a place we hide behind
An alternative face
We're the people who fuck with your minds
When you sleep inside

I can take you away
To a better place, to a better time
I can take you away
To a better place

Let's talk about you and me tonight
'cause I'd really like to take you home
Let's talk about you and me tonight

'cause I need the push to allude to things I have to say

There's a time and a place we hide behind
An alternative face
When the freak needs a nurse you comply
With the fools in mind

There's a time and a place we hide behind
An alternative face
We're the people who fuck with your minds
When you sleep inside

And remember the times that we've shown you the way
With so many faces
And remember the times that we've shown you the way
We can change your mind.

2005-06-20T22:29:00.000-04:00

hmm...so today I got my bloodwork back and everything is normal...healthy as fuck, not a damn thing even out of the normal...and they checked everything. I don't know wtf is wrong with me...but whatever it is they can't find it. On the up side...they put me on some speed...and it's the good shit...so i'm going to be all jacked up on that shit now...lol. Oh...and I don't have "the aids" (as Dave calls it) either...lmfao. So I am clean and healthy...lol.

Anyway...not much else going on...work sucked...what else is new huh?

2005-06-20T02:22:00.000-04:00

platinumodyssey: i changed my reply lol
Mindbinge: wow nice comeback...did you find it in a fortune cookie? lmfao
platinumodyssey: roflmao shut up

2005-06-19T05:15:00.000-04:00

Yeah so guess who can't sleep? :(

Words...

What is patient
Always kind...
Does not complain
What will always find the time
And bares no blame
Doesn't act boastfully...
Or suffer from jealousy
Try and be arrogant
Just another thing it can't
Doesn't need to see the end
Never unbecoming
It provokes not in argument
Takes the wrong in to account
Rejoices in the truth not the righteous
Forgives when at blame
And bares no shame
Doesn't act boastfully...
Or suffer from jealousy

2005-06-19T01:44:00.000-04:00

Today sucked.

2005-06-16T13:52:00.000-04:00

I took the day off...just needed some Lance time I guess.

wow...hard to believe it's been a week since the Cleveland show already. What a great time that was, seeing old friends, great shows, hanging out with the people you know and love, and just watching everything happen...it was a blast...one of the best times I think I can remember ever having....to bad it didn't last longer.

Thursday was sort of a long day...I had to work all day so Colleen and Amber left for Cleveland about the time I left for work...Colleen and I have this whole "thing" together where we really do care about each other a lot but we argue over stupid shit mostly and drive each other fuckin nuts...but it is what it is and in the end we always stay the best of friends and manage to carry on another day. So she was here most of the week before they left and we had our usual spats over stupid shit (like the corn...lol), but it was actually really nice to have her around and take a couple of days off and spend some time together...we went to see Star Wars EP 3 on Wed and other than that mostly just hung out and talked or whatever.

Anyway, drove up to Cleveland after work and got there about 4am or so...talked to Riff on the way up for a while about some shit, which was cool...Riff's awesome :)
then everyone was pretty much passed out when I got there so I crashed for a couple of hours and got up, cleaned up, and went over to see Lou. Friday morning was cool, mostly just hung out with Lou and got shit ready for Friday night's show. Jay and Paige got there early Friday morning and I was walking out as they were coming in, the usual hug fest occured in the lobby...lol...haven't seen them in a while so we talked about some shit for a few in the lobby and then they went up to their rooms to take a nap for a while.

Later on, me and Lou checked out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame shit...which was cool...ended up going over to the exhibit area and decided not to do the autograph signing because there were not really a lot of people around anyway...not enough to constitue getting the guys all in one place at the same time anyway...so that was a cool thing because it gave everyone most of the day off! Sound check was at 4pm so we didn't have to get in the van to go over there until about 3:45...so everyone just kinda hung out at the hotel, went to the bar, and we had a small birthday thing for Lou...which was cool.

So at 4 we went to soundcheck, I filmed about an hours worth of shit...they did suckerface and dissention i think if i remember correctly...and I have to say...the Odeon was one of the best clubs I have been to...me and Jay were talking about it and the accoustics in that place are great. Hardwood floors and a great lighting system and the front of house sounded great...if I was going to film a live show in a club, that would be my first choice. Anyway...mostly hung out with Jay and talked about random shit, like the iPod skin idea we talked about a couple of years ago...lol...just random shit...I think he was trying to stay away from the majority of the "hangers on" that were there...there are a few of them...and I got to talk with Bobby, Amir, and Ryan about shit to...we had a couple of beers in the process...was a good time for sure. Talked to Ryan and Amir about the JK stuff and a project they are working on with Chester Bennington of LP...can't wait to hear that shit...Ryan was going to play me some of it when we got back to the room but his iPod was died in the process and he didn't have his charger (way to go Ry!)...lol. Talked to Amir about some guitar shit, he's working on a new model right now...sounded like a cool deal. Bobby was just Bobby, he's the most down to earth person I think I have ever met...I think my best memory with him is watching kickboxing after the Myrtle Beach show last year...lol...he's just an awesome person to hang out with...I wish there was a way for every Orgy fan to spend a day with him and really get to know him as a person and not Orgy's Drummer.

So after soundcheck we went next door to this place to get some food...Jay came over and asked me if i wanted to go with him...then about 1000000000 other people followed along...lol. I wasn't hungry but I got something to drink and sat down for a while...Jay ended up sitting over at another table with Grace and her kids, he had promised one of Grace's kids that he would have dinner with her when they came back around last summer and they never came back around...lol...and she never forgot...lol...so he had to make it up to her...which I thought was cool of him to do that. So after lunch we went back to soundcheck, Jay and the guys went to do some interviews, and I helped out with Merch a little and tried to find a Radio Shack for Amir so he could get something for his guitar that broke...eneded up not finding one...lol.

So then I watched the opening bands, some of them were "ok"...but not that great overall, Disown was pretty good...by far the best of the openers...RUOK was decent, they have a bit of a U2 flavor to them...Project 44 has a long way to go...they had some idiot on stange with them banging and throwing trashcans...pretty lame and pissed a lot of people off in the crowd. So about 10 I got back over to the hotel to pick up Bobby, Paige, and Jay...Ryan and Amir were already at the club when I left...so I'm thinking...cool...not a big deal only have to track down 3 of the 5...lol...wrong...found Bobby easy...called him up on the cell and told him I was on the way over...he was ready to roll and in the van shortly after I got there...called Jay on the cell told him the same...he was still getting ready but said it would be about 10 min before he was ready....i'm thinking uh oh! Jay time 10 min cna = 1 hour normal time...lol...no biggie...he's in his room so I can handle this...lol...then there is Paige...not in his room, not answering his cell...lol...knew things were going to easy. So about 10:30 Lou is calling me up yelling because Jay is not there yet...having a slight stroke I think in the process...lol...tells me to get up to his room and "go get Jay by any means necessary" lol...so I go up there...Jay is like "come on in bro almost ready"...lol...so I went in and chilled...Lou continued to call me and Jay and we both sent him to voicemail...lol. Jay says "what time we have to go on?" I said "10:30" and he's like..."what time is it now?"...so I'm like "10:20"...so he's like "how far is this place from here?" and I said..."maybe 5 min or so"...so he's like "well wtf is Lou's problem then?"....roflmfao....So I told Jay I would take his bag and clothes on down to the van and get that shit ready so we could go...so I got all his shit in the van...a few min later he finally showed up and we were off...lol.

So the show got started a few min later and it was one of the best Orgy shows I have seen...I shot the whole thing on video from either backstage or the front row in front of the barricade...turned out awesome! They played the usual set list, nothing out of the ordinary...still a great show...they were all in to it.

Afterwards, we did the signing...I fucked around with Lou a little bit...and we went back to the hotel...there were lots of funny things going on...I'll say more about that later in another post...many stories.

Friday night was fuckin crazy...ended up down in a room with Paige and Bobby and Siggy and Adrian from Powerman 5000...fuckin nuts...there was all kinda shit going on...you name it...stories, foot licking, lol...everything...it was insane.

So then there was some shit that went on about 6am or so...I managed to keep the situation under control...lol...got everyone in their rooms and to sleep...so then me and the asshat took a minute to go for a walk outside...it was just starting to get daylight and we went up to this little area outside the hotel that was on the lake and had a wall you could sit/lean on and just talked for a while abotu shit...ended up walking over to this building that had these huge ass stone bench things...just sat there for a while and hung out..at one point she just kinda leaned over and rested her head on me and relaxed...it was actually one of the coolest moments we have ever spent together...no fighting...both of us just tired as fuck...and just taking a moment alone to hang out and talk about things...no stress, no bullshit, it was great.

So then Sat, everyone got up around noon and checked out by 2pm...we all hung out...went to lunch at some deli...Jay sat over with me and asshat...talked about shit for an hour or so...it was cool...then it was time to take a few pics and say goodbye until next time.

There are more things to tell...but I'll save them for later...this thing is a mile long as it is today...lol. Overall..awesome trip...I already miss everyone a lot...been kinda down all week as a result. :( It's good to be with the people you love and call friends and family...kinda sad when everyone goes their separate ways at the end, but you still know there is always a next time.

2005-06-14T05:41:00.000-04:00

Need to sleep...went over to the track tonight instead of sleeping...I'm good like that...lol.

2005-06-13T03:38:00.000-04:00

Home safe at 3:30am if anyone cares...so I guess I'm the last one to drag ass home from those who went to Cleveland...as far as I know everyone made it home ok.

So yeah...long night...lots of stories to tell but they will have to wait a little longer...good shit though.

I'm sleepy, worn out, aggrivated, stressed out, and pretty much sad on top of all of that...but hey...life goes on right? When it's all over with and done, in the end...no one will be able to say I didn't live it up...because I have...lol...my life has been a hell of a ride.

Anyway...sleep time...have to go to work at 10:30am in the morning...need a little sleep now...probably wont get much anyway, looks to be a restless night...but worth a shot I guess.

Until next time, I leave you with some Baz:

You and I together in our lives
Sacred ties would never fray
Then why can´t I let myself tell lies
And watch you die every day

I think back to the times
When dreams were what mattered
Tough talking youth naivete

You said you never let me down
But the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation

Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

Paranoid delusions they haunt you
Where´s my friend I used to know
He´s all alone
He´s buried deep within a carcass
Searching for a soul

Can you feel me inside your heart
As it´s bleeding
Why can´t you belive you
Can´t be loved

I hear you scream in agony
And the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation

Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

You said you never let me down
But the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation

Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind

The sun will rise again
The earth will turn to sand
Creation´s colors seem to fade to grey
And you´ll see the sickly hands of time
Will write your final rhyme
And end a memory

I never thought you´d let it get this far

2005-06-12T05:51:00.000-04:00

Where to start?

I'm at the asshat's house right now in MI, just let the Powermann 5000 show in Detroit and headed back here to crash for a few before I go home.

Been a hell of a week...I'll post everything that went on in Cleveland, well what I can comment on anyway...lol..when I get home...so expect a long bloggie soon.

I'm a little road beaten right now...need to get about 6 hours of sleep or so to feel better...it's 6 am now so i doubt thats going to happen...lol.

Some of the shit that has gone on over the last 48 hours or so is just...well...crazy as fuck.

Been an emo rollercoaster all week...in the end...don't think we got much of anything accomplished...maybe we did? I dunno...whatever the case, shit is still not right...I just wish things weren't so friggin' complicated....get's old sometimes...will be nice to get back to work I think.

Anyway...more next time.

.....the road goes on forever, and the party never ends.

2005-06-09T09:59:00.000-04:00

Went to see Star Wars Ep 3 yesterday...pretty good....they could have done a little more to make the movie better...would have been nice to see some Han Solo and Bobba Fett stuff mixed in there just to round out the characters a little more...oh well. I dunno...it was about a 7 out of 10 I guess...as close to the originals as any of the new ones.

After that we all went over to the Marcum house and hung out for a while...it was good to see my bros again...Aaron seems to have somehow missed 80 days of school...and still passed...lol. Fucker better not pull that shit in college or he will screw up football...which I doubt he would do.

2005-06-07T01:49:00.000-04:00

well Colleen didn't make it down today...supposed to be heading this way in the morning...so I guess I'm taking off a couple of days :) (yay break!) I hope things go well this week, we've been getting along awesome for a while now and I'd like to keep it that way...we have a way of finding something to argue over though...so...hopefully we'll hang out and get along and it'll be a cool couple of days.

I need to clean out my car tomorrow and do some other stuff before she gets here and I'll be going to pick up some mini DV tapes for the trip this weekend since I'll be taping all kinds of shit and the Orgy show in Cleveland of course....can't wait for that...should be a lot of fun and it's always good to see Jay again...we don't get to hang out much, few times a year...we talk a lot on the phone though and keep in touch...so..it's a cool thing...always has an interesting view on my problems...lol. He sent me some pics of his kid Jax the other day...cute kid.

Oh...and Laura, I picked up the mini 3 musketeers today...will check out your theory on the caramel...lmfao...I still dont think it's true...I think you got some rogue Milky Ways...lmfao.

...and in the loophole dept...I swung a deal with Tina a while back that if she isn't preggo by the time she turns 30...shes going to bare the demon child...lol. (yes-it would be done the regular way...lol)...so i've got that going for me...lmao

not much else going on...bored as fuck and just wishing asshat would hurry up and get here...lol...so i guess i will go get some sleep.

Later...

2005-06-05T10:04:00.000-04:00

Spam Evolved:

So today I got some interesting spam...it's true....lol...for some reason, there was not the usual virus attached - no super penis forumla - no hot stock tip investment - nothing to sell, buy, pimp, look at, or otherwise be annoyed by...

This is all it said:

Two friends are walking in the jungle. Suddenly a tiger appears in the distance running toward them. One friend pulls a pair of 'Nikes' out of his bag and quickly puts them on. With a surprised look, the other friend says, "You don't really think you can out run that tiger with those?" "I don't need to out run the tiger", his friend replies, "I just need to run faster than you".

I'm trying to figure out the angle? Why would you spend time sending out spam like this? Could it be some evil corp plot to make me buy Nikes? Because, I already buy Nikes and they are in fact the shoe of choice for my jungle running needs...I know I wouldn't be found eaten alive in a pair of Reebok.

Anyway...just found it odd.

This reminds me of a story...when I was in high school me and a bunch of the other football guys and the cheerleaders were working on the sr float for the homecoming parade one night after school and we had to walk up this road to the house where it was being worked on...so about 10 of us decided to walk back down to the school to get some more stuff we needed...half way down the road we come to this house that is up on the hill with a fenced in yard, the guy has two Dobermans...so my friend Sammy decides for some still unknown reason it would be a good idea to "fuck" with the Dobermans...well, just so happens someone left the gate open and the previously mentioned Dobermans came running down this hill through tall grass growling and barking, not in what I would describe as a "good mood".

The race was on, and I swear to god...this is no lie...I absolutly blew past about 10 people like they were standing still...lol...you are talking about a 240 pound defensive tackle going downhill past running backs and wide receivers like it's nothing...lol...I have never and probably never will again run so fast...I would love to have had my 40 time on that. I got to the point where I could feel my feet hitting the ground to hard and started to think I wasn't going to be able to stop or keep from falling...lmfao...I heard Brad Johnson say "god damn" when I went past him...lmfao. And of course...I was wearing Nikes.

true story.

2005-06-04T04:39:00.000-04:00

...just wanted to say...Right Now - life is good. (and it means everything) :)

Right Now

Don’t wanna wait til tomorrow
Why put it off another day?
One more walk through problems
Built up, and stand in our way ,ah
One step ahead, one step behind me
Now you gotta run to get even
Make future plans, don’t dream about yesterday, hey
C’mon turn, turn this thing around
Right now, hey
It’s your tomorrow
Right now
C’mon,it’s everything
Right now
Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything
Miss the beat, you lose the rhythm
And nothing falls into place, no
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace, oh,
The more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for the other
Workin so hard, to make it easier, whoa,
Got to turn, c’mon turn this thing around
Right now, hey
It’s your tomorrow
Right now
C’mon, it’s everything
Right now
Catch that magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything
It’s enlightened me, right now
What are you waitin for
Oh, yeah, right now
Right now, hey
It’s your tomorrow
Right now
C’mon, it’s everything
Right now
Catch that magic moment, and do it right,
Right now
Right now, oh, right now
It’s what’s happening?
Right here and now
Right now
It’s right now
Oh
Tell me, what are you waiting for
Turn this thing around

2005-06-03T13:24:00.000-04:00

I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
With a graveyard tan carrying a cross
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like studying faces in a parking lot
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like driving backwards in the fog
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

Bend and shape me
I love the way you are
Slow and sweetly
Like never before
Calm and sleeping
We won't stir up the past
So descretely
We won't look back

The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget

I like throwing my voice and breaking guitars
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like playing in the sand what's mine is ours
If it doesn't remind me of anything

2005-06-01T02:55:00.000-04:00

Help me I dont know what Im doin
Help me before I fall to ruin
And if Im blind, I will lead you on
Come follow me now, before our time is gone

And as you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as Im howling at the moonlight, dont you kid yourself
I will be your luck and never your curse

Help me I dont know what Im saying
Sometimes this tongue can be betraying
And if Im wrong, is that such a crime?
And if you want, you can set my words to right

And as you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as Im howling at the moonlight, dont you kid yourself
I will be your luck

And if your eyes forget to well
And if your lies forget to tell
And if our paths forget to cross

So as you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as Im howling at the moonlight, dont you kid yourself
I will be your luck

If you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might use to trip you up
And as Im howling at the moonlight, dont you kid yourself
I will be your luck
Cause even at my worst
I will be your luck
never be your curse

2005-06-01T02:09:00.000-04:00

yeah...

feeling kinda lonely tonight, guess I will hit the bed early for a change. Went in to work today in a great mood...lol..had that "they can't touch me today" feeling...but now i'm kinda just moodswing drunk and faded...a bit sad. Hate it.

Ah well...*thinks happy thoughts*...lol. Where's Tina when you need her, she always seems to cheer me up when i need it most...lol.

Niterz People...

2005-05-31T04:59:00.000-04:00

Interesting series of events over the past few days...probably couldn't have worked out any better to be honest...and I needed some good days...lol.

So basically spent about 10 million hours on the phone with Colleen trying to get some shit straight between us finally....which I think we have come to a few understandings about things...and that's a good thing :) She told me some stuff I think I kinda knew but needed to hear and we are all good now I think...hope so anyway. She's coming down for a few days leading up to the Orgy show June 10th in Cleveland, I think she's going up with Amber on the morning 9th and I'm going up when I get off work...which sucks but whatever...damn Evil Empire. So then I am going to the rock and roll hall of fame friday and Orgy is doing a signing there...will be cool to check the place out...I think we might go back on Sunday before Colleen goes back home and hang out again for a while or something?

Looks like the whole crew is going to be on hand for this so it will be interesting having everyone in one place...some of them are self important so it should be fun to watch what goes on...lol.

Talked to Laura for a few on IM, think maybe there is finally some closure to that whole situation now. She's a cool person...wish her the best, always.

Got the new Audioslave CD "Out of Exile" and it's mad niggerish...go get it...NOW!

Also got an iPod Shuffle...love it...go get one of those as well...lol. $99 at your local Wal Mart...kinda strange they have them...but cool!

So yeah...I think overall this has been one of the best weekends I can remember in a long time...had it's ups and downs but it was a lot of fun and probably end up being the turning point of a lot of things...Garon blew up the Combine...me and the asshat finally got somewhere...lol...met Janelly finally...went to the Football HOF...no one really called and bothered me to do shit...had 4 days off...finally had some closure with Laura I think...Got some weights for the basement so I can start building my arms up again...getting a little soft...lol...only took them 4 months to get them in stock again...wtf? Now all I have to do is go see fuckin' Star Wars...lol.

Life is good for a change...

:)

2005-05-29T13:47:00.000-04:00

Back from the US Army All American Football Combine in Akron Ohio now...was a good camp. Garon did pretty good overall:
40 time - 4.5
vert leap 30.5
long jump 8'9"
shuttle time - 3.7 (which would set a Combine and nike Camp record if that holds up...have to wait and see what they post.

Colleen and Janelle showed up...Colleen took some pics of the Combine on Sat for me and video of Garon running his 40's...so that was cool...much appreciated. Janelle was cool to meet, I have talked to her on and off for about a year or so I guess, met her through Colleen...really cool girl, very nice person...glad I got to finally meet her in person.

Seems like everyone called me yesterday...kinda strange...Gisselle,Andrea,Riffy,and about 4 other people all checked in while I was on the way home...lol.

So...it's nice to have a few days off. I called in sick yesterday and that gave me Fri-Monday off...so leave work on Thursday night and come back on Tuesday afternoon...and still get paid...yeah I can handle that...lol.

Anyway...it's a nice day so I think I'm going to grab some old Metallica cd's and go walk around the track at the football field for a while and kinda be alone and relax...I always like to go there and just think shit over...don't know if it's the field or what but that place just helps me relax and I'm usually the only one there...so it's cool...great place to just forget about shit for an hour or so. I really need to just get my shit together at this point. The football camps are all over with now and I'm pretty much done with a few of my projects...so I think it's time to scale back a little and do some shit i enjoy and do what I need to do as far as getting healthy and all that crap...I still need to go see the doc and I might do that next week if I can swing the time. I've been told I'm "at a point where I am ready to settle down..." lol...I can't imagine that is even close to true...the party hasn't even started yet for me...maybe in 5 years or so? Who knows...a lot of life to live, things to do, and shit to fix before that would even cross my mind...and after a string of failed "relationships" for various reasons over the years...I don't think thats a place I need to be anyway...doesn't seem to work out for me. I guess if you meet someone that you enjoy being with and things are right it's always a possibility that it just evolves in to that or whatever...but, I don't see it myself.

Off to the track...

2005-05-26T04:41:00.000-04:00

Halfway to Memphis
drivin in the rain
Self confidence slippin
still runnin away
From the face in the mirror
the lines on the face
From New York City
to the San Francisco Bay

From the ghost in the closet
the monkey on your back
From the one that really knows you
been there watchin' your back
But the fire in your belly still burns

Just be yourself
You're like no one else
There's nobody like you
You can't find it on the shelf
Just let the world know
That you're ready for show
Count 3 and let go
Before you turn around and go home

Down by the lilikoi
Near the old stone wall
There time stands still
Yet the water still falls
There nothing much changes
But the seasons still change
Just wishin and hopin
To break even again

You take these things with you
You take em to the heart
But take nothing for granted
Well there's a good place to start
Until you feel the light circle again

Just be yourself
You're like no one else
There's nobody like you
You can't find it on the shelf
Just let the world know
That you're ready for show
Count 3 and let go
Before you turn around and go home

There ain't no sanctuary
Young Jeff Buckley blood
You're halfway to Memphis
In the Mississippi mud

Be yourself
You're like no one else
There's nobody like you
You can't find it on the shelf
Just let the world know
That you're ready for show
Count 3 and let go
Before you turn around and go home

Turn yourself around and get back home
Just turn around and go home

2005-05-26T00:14:00.000-04:00

hmmm...I always get caught up in doing shit all of the time and get to busy to finish stuff I start...I guess everyone does it from time to time...I think I just do it more often than most. There is an old song that comes to mind at times like this...it's not always about money...sometimes what you gain from doing something, be it a project, a job, or just whatever...is more than just a paycheck. So when ever I do something and it doesn't really pay off or work out the way I wanted...I think about this shit...I don't know why. Friend of mine is going through some shit right now and it kinda sucks...wish I had all the answers...but I don't.

Of all the things I don't know....I do know that "failure" is not someone who tried and lost, but more so someone who lost from not trying.

Would you do it for free?

Would you do it for love?
Would you do it for pride?
If you gave it away
Woud you be satisfied?
On your hands and knees
When the price is right
You said you believe
But would you stand up and fight?
I think you better ask yourself
Before you criticize me
Are you a victim of the system
Of the powers that be?
If there was nothing to gain
Would you do it for free?
Would you do it for me?

2005-05-25T01:30:00.000-04:00

Talked to my cuz via email today...short and simple, but says a lot if you know what you are reading. We were pretty close at one point, don't really talk much anymore beyond the occasional email every so often now. She's 11 years older than me and was always like my big sis growing up...took me to my first concert. Outside of the people that live here in VA, my only real family...

-----Original Message-----
From: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:05 AM
To: Lance
Subject: RE: SMILE & HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Let me know when so I can come visit.................lol
I can't image living there - I can't believe the things that go on..........family should be family - and be there no matter what.

let me know if you need me for anything!!

luv ya - always

-----Original Message-----
From: Lance
Sent: Tuesday, May 24, 2005 9:00 AM
To: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: SMILE & HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Hey...

How are things?

I think I'm going to move out west soon...not sure yet...things are just not
good here anymore.

Tell the guys I said hello...

Love ya..

Lance

2005-05-23T01:48:00.000-04:00

It's a strange fuckin life...

So basically me and Thorn have our own record label now and have worked out a sweet deal with D1 and it looks like the Redrum shit might finally hit the streets. I have had this finished 3rd CD "Songs in the key of Dissonance" sitting on my shelf mastered and ready to go since 1/21/2002 and at that point it was 5 years in the making....so now almost 9 years after the last CD it will finally be heard. This has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I know Thorn has ever done. It's something I have wanted to follow through on and see to the end, so I feel pretty good about it...plus it's kinda weird knowing I own half of a real record label now...i mean, we can do iTunes, Napster, Real, MusicMatch...plus Wal Mart, Best Buy, Hot Topic...you name it...we can put our CD there with this deal.

The funny thing is that Redrum IV is already in the works. Thorn has about 7 songs finished so far for it so it's about 40% done already...crazy. I have heard the new mix of "There Is" and it's amazing...IV will be good but I'm hoping we can build a new fanbase with the Songs in the Key CD. Lot's of work ahead for that one though. We are doing a new mix of the "Cosmic" song and I heard it today for the first time...I think we have something. Time will tell.

So..I talked to Lou more about getting out to Cali...which with this record label stuff now it's a must...i have to get my ass out there soon...probably fly out in July or early August and visit and maybe make some plans at that point. I really need to just get it over with and move, there is really nothing here for me anymore in VA...I tried...and I guess this is the first time I will move on to something and feel like I have actually failed to do what i set out to do...I think that's part of the whole "moving to Cali" thing...I still have stuff here that I refuse to just give up on for whatever reason and I need to just let it go and move on...and I know it...but I'm a stubborn fuck and I keep thinking things will get better and I'll pull the rabbit out of the hat somehow because...well I always do that sort of thing...times might get bad but when the game is on the line I have never failed to deliver...I guess I keep waiting for something positive to happen here.

I told Lou once that it was pretty cool to see how many times you can get flat knocked on your ass but somehow get back up again time after time and go back for more...he said "wow - how true man...how true".

I don't know...I have a lot of shit in my head right now and on my mind....conflicting feelings about people...old and new....just seems like whatever choices I make I'm still fucking something up somewhere...lots to consider.

Anyway...next Friday me and Garon are going to get up early and go to the Football Hall of Fame and spend the day. Should be fun, I've always wanted to go and never had the chance...so I'm really looking forward to it. If the fucker is closed I'll cry...or break something...I'm not sure which yet...lol. Then Friday night I think Asshat and Janelle are going to visit? Not sure about that now because Asshat has somehow fucked her neck up or something and I guess if she's on painkillers can't make the trip? Would be cool to meet Janelle, I have talked to her a few times over the past year and she seems like a cool chick...hey, any chick that gets arrested in the Congo is ok in my book...lol. So, then Sat we are going to the US Army All American Combine and hopefully get some better test results and make a good showing...last chance to do so anyway.

I guess thats enough for now...there is more but this is long enough and I gotta hit the bed.

Niters freaks...

2005-05-19T10:13:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note before work.

The GA camp was "ok"...long story short, we kinda got screwed on the 40 time but oh well...stats:

40 yd dash - 4.72
20 yd shuttle - 4.69
vert leap - 30.7"
bench reps (185 pounds) - 15
overall SPARQ rating - 66.90

that puts him in the top 24% of the nation...if the original 4.52 40 yd dash time would have stood and he got at least 4.30 in the shuttle like he did last year (he slipped on both runs this year, he would have been in the top 15% in the nation.

anyway...we go to Akron next week to try to better the times.

There was the district track meet yesterday...got a note from his coach that said this today:

garon ran an 11.8 at district meet on a wet track last night, henry from graham just nosed him for first. he would have been the first swd champion from grundy in 100meters in over 30 years.

I think he is still going to the regions and I know I have timed him running an 11.4 myself so he still has a shot at going to state...will have to see how it goes...he's still not 100% and the upper body weight he has put on might have slowed him down a little...still to early to tell.

anyway...off to work.

2005-05-13T20:52:00.000-04:00

I'm gone to GA for Nike camp...if anyone needs me hit the cell.

Will be back tomorrow night late.

2005-05-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

RANDOMNESS....

brn in2 chaos: dude

brn in2 chaos: you know those stupid chain letters... that tell you like "if you dont send this to _ people this and this and this will happen blah blah blah" ?

brn in2 chaos: i just did one.. and it was like "after you do this.. the phone will ring" and im all "pssshhhhh what the fuck ever" but im bored.. so i did it

brn in2 chaos: and my phone rang

brn in2 chaos: and there wasnt anyone there

Mindbinge: lol

brn in2 chaos: DONT LAUGH AT ME

brn in2 chaos: ><

brn in2 chaos: im not kidding

brn in2 chaos: the fuckin phone rang and there was noone there and nothing showed on the ID and and and ><

Mindbinge: lol...you are paranoid

brn in2 chaos: no shit

brn in2 chaos: i question everything anyone ever says to me, i always thing people are talking about me behind my back.. mhm.. yup.. paranoia

Mindbinge: phone ring again yet?

brn in2 chaos: no

Mindbinge: it probably will...soon...lmfao

brn in2 chaos: SHUT UP

brn in2 chaos: ><

2005-05-10T10:12:00.000-04:00

So I went to see my friend Robert a couple of days ago (Friday). I have known him since we were kids. We played basketball together all through school since like 3rd grade, hung out and went to concerts together in High School, you know...the usual crazy shit. He's a little guy, we always called him Smurf back in the day...always the class clown and joking around...I remember one time he got in trouble for singing "girls just wanna have fun" during a basketball game...lmfao...(had to see it I guess) but the coach about shit a brick because it was a pretty important game and here is this guy out on the court fucking around...but, that's just what you get with Robert...I think he had 36 points in that game and we did win. I usually try to go and see him at least once a year, I drive right by there almost every day but I dont ever stop in...had a minute or two Friday on my way back from the bank so I decided to go visit. Robert holds a lot of memories for me, some are the best of times and some are the worst...and every year about this time I go back and think about everything again, some of it seems as clear as things I did just yesterday. I usually don't stay very long because to be honest it still bothers me to this day that someone I considered one of my best friends could take his own life and not even tell me there was a problem. So now, more than 10 years later...there is still no closure, just old questions that I'll never know the answers to.

2005-05-09T03:11:00.000-04:00

Long day...

Went over to see my mom, which was nice...she's not been doing so well the past few months and I'm just glad to have her around for another Mother's day. Which means I also was placed in close quarters with my Dad...not always a good thing. Me and the old man have never been buddies or friends or whatever you want to call it, we have a straight up father-son relationship that is nothing short of obligatory on his behalf...and I've tried to change things and spend some time with him or whatever over the past few years, especially since I have moved back home...gave it an honest shot to try to be a little more than just "the kid"...but, I guess the guy just really doesn't like me or sees me as some sort of failure or something...hell I don't really know or pretend to understand the man or what he thinks...but tonight, after not really seeing them for about a month or so now we went out to eat for Mother's Day and from the time I got there through dinner and up until the time I went home I don't think the man even said three words to me. Nice huh?

Stopped on the way out and saw the Marcum brothers...Garon was busy with his GF so me and Aaron just hung out and talked about shit...first time I had really sat down and just shot the shit with him in a long ass time...felt good to just relax and talk for a while...ended up leaving about 2:30am to come home. Going to be strange not having him around next year.

anyway...another day bites the dust...

Later~

2005-05-08T11:14:00.000-04:00

Ah...new day..sometimes 5 hours of sleep makes you feel brand new again...lol.

So last night was...well...it was.

Couple of frineds came over and we watched Star Wars Episode II and Rambo III...good stuff...lmfao.

Next week starts the Football Camp blitz...will be gone every weekend from here until the first of June, then I found out I am going to OK City June 2nd - 25th...so I'll be gone for a while. When I get back I think I might go to Cali for a week and hang out with Thorn, Jay, or Lou...whoever is around. Orgy seems to be hitting the road soon and I might have to catch Jay on the next trip...which is cool because I'm glad to see the guys out and playing again.

The Redrum shit is going well again, Lee has done a great job of helping us out so far witht he MySpace shit and Thorn has a good attitude about going forward now and is writing 4 or 5 new songs. I heard the first mix of the first song on the 4th CD (yes that's 4th CD)...and it sounded awesome...the 3rd CD should be ready soon, might try to do a Halloween release thing or something? Not sure yet. 4th CD should be ready by the end of the year as well...but not sure when we will put that out. No title for the 4th cd as of yet...working title is just "Redrum IV"....should have 13 or so songs when it's done and 7 or 8 of those are already written, but not tracked yet.

I'm finishing up some shit I have been working on today and that will be a huge burden removed (finally). Sad part is I have some new stuff that is right behind it to work on.

2005-05-07T21:47:00.000-04:00

uhmmm...well...since I don't know who reads here and who might find it...all i'll say is it has been one weird fucking week at work.

2005-05-06T01:40:00.000-04:00

Talked to Garon today on the ride home, they had a track meet yesterday and it was the first time he has really ran on his leg since he hurt it. He ran the 100m and said "I fell down at the start, and by the time I got up everyone was already 5 to 10 steps ahead of me, so I had to turn on the jets..."
He came in second with a time of 12.1 seconds...even after falling down o_0
Nike Camp is a week away...I feel pretty good about things now. :)

Work was better today...lol...still weird...but better. I have a shit load of stuff to do tomorrow, so i guess i will hit the bed now.

2005-05-05T03:25:00.000-04:00

wow...can you say moodswing?

I was having a pretty good night, but as I sometimes have a tendency to do I over thought about some things that are going on and well...moodswing.

Situations that interlace, a moment in time you can always recall like a picture by simply closing your eyes, a memory of something that you somehow lost along way, the feeling of looking in the mirror and not knowing the person looking back, something you really want that remains just out of reach.

Anyway...that's enough for tonight I guess.

2005-05-04T00:58:00.000-04:00

Couple of cool quotes...kinda bored tonight...can you tell? :(

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
Sir Winston Churchill

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein

2005-05-03T22:55:00.000-04:00

Well, today at work was strange to say the least... Guess I'll just leave it at that...

2005-05-03T10:23:00.000-04:00

yep,this is going to be fast and dirty:

so basically I am under the gun to get a couple of things finished...Centerline Entertainment, DLC, Redrum, MaxSig, Inteligain and Cyfre, and I'm opening up a new office here in June I think, doing what I have wanted to do for the past few years but had my hands tied (Movies, Comics, weird shit, and internet stuff) with two new partners on board this time so I don't have to do everything on my own....oh and there is always the real job which is my break from all this crap to keep my sanity.

The Redrum stuff has started to get going again, which makes me feel good because that has been my personal project for 5 years or so now....if you get a chance go to www.redrumonline.com or www.myspace.com/redrumonline to check that shit out...the new CD is going to be called "Songs in the key of Dissonance" which was always the intended title, and it will have at least 18 songs on it and probably more if we can fit them on there. We are also working on a DVD which will be called "Sights in the key of Dissonance" that will go along with it and will be 2 hours of cool shit, quality is not a concern since it's intended to be something for those who are hardcore fans of the band and mostly just something for me and Thorn to enjoy...lol.

If I can just keep my shit together for a while and get a few things done without having to many people on my ass, things might be getting better.

Some weird shit going on at work...not sure what to think about it all...probably find out more today I guess. Speaking of work...it's about that time...so...later.

2005-05-02T00:52:00.000-04:00

Song of the day....

Wishing

It’s not the way you look,
It’s not the way that you smile.
Although there’s something to them.
It’s not the way you have your hair,
It’s not that certain style;
It could be that with you.

If I had a photograph of you,
It’s something to remind me.
I wouldn’t spend my life just wishing.

It’s not the make-up
And it’s not the way that you dance,
It’s not the evening sky.
It’s more the way your eyes
Are laughing as they glance
Across the great divide.

If I had a photograph of you,
It’s something to remind me.
I wouldn’t spend my life just wishing.

It’s not the things you say
It’s not the things you do
It must be something more
And if I feel this way for so long
Tell me is it all for nothing
Just don’t walk out the door.

If I had a photograph of you,
It’s something to remind me.
I wouldn’t spend my life just wishing.

2005-04-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

wow...weird night...I'm not one to dream and remember it very often. For me I have the occasional dream that I do remember and it usually consists of some outstanding subject matter such as me sitting on a bus looking out a window or something stupid along those lines...not a big deal. Last night was different. I had at least 3 dreams that were crazy...all in which something bad happened...I don't consider them "nightmares" as such...they were just bad dreams. Two involved car wrecks, one of which was some sort of white car that I was in the back seat of that went head on in to a big truck...lol...i was kinda just along for the ride and didn't know the other people in the car for some reason...they all died, I walked away unharmed...but I remeber looking back at the damage and the car was smashed all to shit. The second dream involved some sort of dark colored SUV, it was at night and again I was in the back and didn't know the other people in the car...there was something in the road like a deer or something big and the driver ran off the road and up a hill and flipped it...again the other people were killed, I walked away.

The strange thing to me really was being able to look at the wreckage after the accident...there were no cops or other people around...just a big mess in both dreams and I was able to walk around and look at this shit...dripping coolant and power steering fluid running out on the ground....shit like that, very detailed images. There was another dream but I don't remember what it was about.

Anyway...boring update, I know...just thought I would share.

2005-04-26T22:39:00.000-04:00

so some jackass pulled the fire alarm today at the office and everyone went outside for an hour or so and did nothing...so when I got back in I realized it took up the time i was supposed to be on break..so i figure fuck that and logged in and back out for another 15 min break. :) Have company emergencies on your own time...not my break.

I also realized that I have an evolving anger problem...I am growing ever less tolerant of stupid people and stupid shit in general. The anger sharks are swimming in my head again. :x

Things are soon to change...that's a promise.

2005-04-26T03:03:00.000-04:00

Dig if u will the picture
Of u and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can u my darling
Can u picture this?

Dream if u can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and u

How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (So cold)
Maybe I'm just 2 demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (She's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

Touch if u will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You've got the butterflies all tied up
Don't make me chase u
Even doves have pride

How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold? (World so cold)
Maybe I'm just 2 demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (She's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (A world that's so cold)
Maybe I'm just 2 demanding (Maybe, maybe I'm like my father)
Maybe I'm just like my father 2 bold (Ya know he's 2 bold)
Maybe you're just like my mother (Maybe you're just like my mother)
She's never satisfied (She's never, never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other (Why do we scream, why)
This is what it sounds like

When doves cry
When doves cry (Doves cry, doves cry)
When doves cry (Doves cry, doves cry)

Don't Cry (Don't Cry)

When doves cry
When doves cry
When doves cry

When Doves cry (Doves cry, doves cry, doves cry)
Don't cry
Darling don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't don't cry

2005-04-25T22:29:00.000-04:00

you ever feel like you are being crushed by some massive mountain of work that you already know you have no chance of actually finishing? I work 10 hours, get home, eat and watch 10 min of South Park and it's right back to work...which I'll be working for another 3 or 4 hours then sleep until it's time to...you guessed it...go back to work.

Sometimes I really hate life..

2005-04-24T15:58:00.000-04:00

....well, no - not now.

2005-04-18T01:50:00.000-04:00

....at least it's not snowing.

2005-04-15T14:33:00.000-04:00

day off...right.

Busy as fuck today...went to Sonic and got some lunch...the new Orange Cream Slushi is the shit. (Just needs rum!..lol)

Anyway...back to work:

Song of the day: COC - Albatross

Well I'm feelin' left behind
Lord what a waste of time
They're coming to get you, run on
How can I respect your crime
When all you criminals whine
They bought and sold you, run on, run on

You can call me crazy
You can call me wrong
Cause I was born a liar
Albatross fly on, fly on

My home is kind
man it pays to be blind
I promise to forget you, run on
No swallowed pride, no conspiracy lined
Broken promise of the virtue, run on, Lord run on

You can call me lazy
But I know where I belong
Cause I was born a liar
Albatross, fly on, fly on
With your trust in love from your God above...

I believe the Albatross is me

You can call me lazy
You can call me wrong
Cause I was born a liar
Albatross, fly on, fly on

I should have seen the signs
Now the memories far behind
It was no big loss,
Fly on, Albatross yeah

2005-04-14T11:04:00.000-04:00

one more thing...thought I would share...lol.

http://www.swvaol.com/05 Bitch I'm Broke.mp3

Jay or Thorn sent me this...don't remember which one...but it's funny.

Enjoy..

2005-04-14T10:29:00.000-04:00

off to work...again...I think tomorrow is my day off...you know I have a problem keeping track of time...not much going on...talked to Grace about some shit, talked to Riff and she sent me some cool new pics (the new hair is coolness)...talked to Andrea for a few - she sang me a Spice Girls song...lmfao...it was funny...shes a nut! (So...tell me what ya want....lol)

Got an email from Aaron's coach last night, said he had missed like the last 10 days of school so I had to call over and have a talk with the boy...this one wasn't a fun call to make...going over there this weekend to have a longer talk in person. 6 weeks of school left and he's fucking up after all the work we have done...gotta give him an attitude adjustment for his own good...everyone needs that from time to time I guess...I know I can get 6 more weeks out of him...after that things will be ok I think...a change will do him good.

Song of the day: COC - Redemption City

Lost in a dream high and wide
Whatever price to keep it by our side
The steps to the top are very steep
King of the hill when all are fast asleep
but I'm stuck in between
and I know you know what I mean
What a pity...Redemption City
Broken hearts toast another round
And drink to the lost there's not a soul to be found
lonely boy says come what may
I hate to see it always end this way...
but I'm stuck in between
and I know you know what I mean
What a pity...Redemption City
Simple words remind me
Cluttered room haunts me...come back yesterday
The soul is tired and I wanna go home
And close the curtain on everything you've known
But the curtain is high wide and long
And kills the dream, so we sing this simple song
Stuck in between
and I know you know what I mean
What a pity...Redemption City
What a pity

2005-04-11T04:07:00.000-04:00

ended up watching The Contender - best show on TV...was pretty good this week, the fight was the best so far. Comes on Sunday at 8pm EST for those who don't know about it.

Then I watched Deadwood, which is the 2nd best show on TV. This week was pretty good...I wish they would go to a 20 episode season instead of 13 though...the story line is pretty fast paced, you can tell they don't have the time to go in to character developement like they would like to. Still great show though.

Talked to Baird for a few, he's having problems with his car..i let him borrow my little computer scanner thingy and that helped out a lot i think. Damn cars now have to much computer shit in them.

I've been down in the Dungeon all day working on web shit...still not finished with it all...but getting closer. Didn't get a chance to clean the Mustang. :(

Well, better get some sleep so I can drag ass in to work tomorrow (today).

Laterz...

PS: Katie has some big ass tittays... :)

2005-04-10T12:12:00.000-04:00

I should be at Duke right now but...wasn't meant to be.

Garon can't run at all so here we are...nothing we can do.

I guess it all works out for a reason...we are going to try to make up the combine on May 28th in Akron Ohio...that puts him working out 3 weeks in a row, but has to be done I guess. The cool thing about that is that we can go to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton because it's like right on the way...so that's the plan for now...should be fun and hopefully it'll all work out for the better.

Working on web shit today and might go clean out my Mustang...it's friggin nasty since it hasn't been cleaned in like 6 months...lol.

Later...

2005-04-08T11:04:00.000-04:00

ok so there was a slight "problem" this week and we might have to skip the All American Combine at Duke on Sunday....not sure yet...Garon twisted his knee doing the Long Jump at track practice...can you believe that? I could choke him! He's fine...had it looked at already and nothing major at all, he just twisted it...should be fine in a few days, but if he's not 100% we can't go down there and have a bad showing in front of College scouts...so might have to miss it.

I told him to knock that shit off and stick to just running...to much on the line right now and I can't believe he did something that stupid...I know he wasn't thinking about that happening, but you can't let your guard down at all right now...have to think about these types of things.

Anyway...more later...will know tomorrow if we are going or not....he's going to try to run a couple of 40's and if it's not in the 4.5 range consistantly, trip is off.

2005-04-05T08:22:00.000-04:00

Updated Schedule for me and Garon:

4/10/05 - US Army All American Combine - Duke Univ.
4/22/05 - Official Visit to Louisville to attend Jr Day, watch spring game, meet coaches and see campus.
4/24/05 - Nike Camp - Va Tech
5/14/05 - Nike Camp - Univ. of GA
5/21/05 - MSL Combine - Ga Tech

There will be some more dates added for the first two weeks of May unless he doesn't test well at the Va Tech camp, in which case we will be using those two weeks to work out for the GA Nike Camp.

Should be fun times...

Talked to Zach for a while last night...other than that just working...not much going on.

2005-04-01T01:32:00.000-05:00

So a lot is going on in the football world.

Garon got invited to the US Army All American combine at Duke Univ. April 10th... which is awesome! So we are going to that next sunday. He is off to meet with the Va Tech coaches this weekend and take pics and do an interview with Rivals.com

He got a letter in the mail from Louisville today and Boise State...more awesomeness...here is what the Louisville letter said:

Dear Garon,
The University of Louisville had the #1 Offense in the country in 2005. We also finished the season as Conference USA and Liberty Bowl Champions as well as 6th in the country.
Next season we enter the BIG EAST Conference and will compete for a spot at the Orange Bowl. Our goal is to be a Top-10 program every year and win a National Championship during your career.
Because we have a great team and very high goals, we are looking for only the best players in the country. You are one of the best running backs for 2006, which is why I am writing to you.
I am the Running Backs Coach at the Unversity of Louisville and I want to coach YOU! Give me a call at 502-55x-xxxx since I am prohibited from contacting you.
Have a great spring semester.
Coach Greg Nord

Can't beat that...#1 D1-A offense in the country wants you on their team then you have done something right...lol.

Garon has been clocking 40's all week and he's in the 4.5 range every time...hopefully he can rip off a 4.4 at one of these combines we are going to...if so the circus will really get started. It's great to see he is getting some big time attention.

Have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow...trying to put the other set of wheels on the mustang...should be fun...lol.

Some highlights from work this week include:

(1) The Penguin incident
(2) Dress Code Violations (aka the Fashion Police Files)
(3) took a supervisor call in customer service...lmfao...(actually got in a little trouble for that.) *keep me away from the customers*
(4) lots of line stepping...lol
(5) The Slinky incident
(6) ...things you should never do with a Duncan Yo Yo

there is more, but that's just a few of the good ones...lol

get some sleep bitches...

2005-03-25T23:37:00.000-05:00

boring day...went to get tags, inspection sticker, and brakes for the Mustang...all in all ran me about $150 or so...went by the Ford place and ordered a few more parts I need to put on it...slowly getting the small stuff finished up on it. Going to put my other wheels and tires back on in a few weeks...going to try to put the new set of wheels and tires I got for the Focus right before I got rid of it on there...hope they fit....if not I'll be spending another $500 or so on a new set of tires in a month or so....which that is $500 that could go towards the mexico fund...lol.

Speaking of which...I went to the Mexican place tonight with a few friends...had a jumbo margurita...was kick ass. Could have gone to a party but I just decided to pass and go home. Have another party that I kinda have to go to tomorrow night and make the standard appearance, have a drink or two, then slip away...lol.
It's a friends birthday, so I have to go.

Talked to Thorn tonight about some web shit that I'll be doing, and about the Redrum shit...which we are about to get going again soon. Waiting on the guy to finish up the cover artwork at the moment...hope it turns out good.

2005-03-24T23:57:00.000-05:00

False alarm...no sickness...which is good. Probably allergies...first couple of warm days of the year always get me.

not much else to say...long day...need humor...off to watch some dvd's.

Oh...one thing...the weenie dog had a run in with a raccoon the other night...not a pretty thing to see...lol. She got her pride hurt a little, but is ok...I turned the pitbull loose to resolve the problem...he's been trying to kill that thing for over a year now, actually climbed a tree trying to catch it...poor dude got half way up before he realized he was way off the ground...so yeah...should have taken pics of the pitbull stuck in a tree...going up was not the problem...lol.

Later...

2005-03-23T02:46:00.000-05:00

hmmm...sickness?

so I called Andrea and told her happy b-day...she seemed like she was happy to talk to me for a few, said it wasn't the best day but it was getting better...i agree that birthdays suck...I try to ignore them personally. Then I talked to Riff for a while...then...it happened...I am sitting there watching American Idol and my nose starts running...I'm not sure but I think I might be getting a cold...which I hardly ever get sick...fell like shit a lot, but never get sick...so hopefully this passes and I wake up feeling fine...I'm one miserable bastard when I get sick...don't have time to deal with this shit...so I'm doing my usual secret routine and hoping for the best...if it's not viral I can beat it :) If it is I'm fucked (proper).

Wish me luck...lol.

2005-03-21T00:51:00.000-05:00

It's been a strange day off...last night was totally fucked up...today was kinda boring but I got some work done and watched the rest of Napolean Dynomite...for those who have seen it, if you left or turned it off before the credits were over you missed the last part of the movie...lmfao. I wanted to see who wrote one of the songs in the movie so I fast forward to the end and then after they all roll by, it says "2 months later" and there is quite a bit more to the movie.

Heck yeah it was funny...

:)

Kalika send me a text message today that said simply:

" Queer :P "

...not sure why she felt the need to do that, but it's nice to know that somewhere out there in the world, at any given time, someone - somewhere, was thinking about you.

Also, Riff has dropped off the planet again. (other than the occasional blog sighting)

Tomorrow starts my new schedule - I will be working Mon-Thur 12 noon - 9pm...off Friday and Sunday, and Sat 10:15 - 7:15pm...strange hours I know...but for those who call me, be advised these are my new hours....should get home about 10pm EST most weeknights.

2005-03-19T22:25:00.000-05:00

Oh one other thing for tonight...

The Slaughter song last night got me to thinking about Tim Kelly. Tim was the guitarist for Slaughter and was a good friend of mine. He was the quiet-crazy type...he liked to party and have a good time, sometimes to much...lol...I can't think of him without getting a big smile and then a few big tears...he was a true bro and a great guy...I miss him a lot...i first met him in 1992 through a friend of mine and we in turn became pretty good friends...we didn't get to hang out a lot over the years, but we kept in touch for the next 5 years or so and then on Feb 5th, 1998 Tim was killed by a truck driver who was high/drunk/whatever in Arizona. I got the call at about 2am that night from a mutual friend to let me know he had passed away...I'll never forget it. The guy could play the hell out of a guitar...but he was just a really nice person...I consider myself lucky to have known him for the time I did.

Anyway...just wanted to say that while I had it on my mind.

2005-03-19T22:00:00.000-05:00

So yeah...there is a chick at work who has faries on her notebook, lunchbox, and a bracelet to...and she's pretty hot...talked to her today for a bit...nice chick.

Picked up the incredibles on dvd, miami vice season one, napolean dynomite and a couple of new xbox games yesterday...now just have to find time to ejoy all this shit.

lol...Riff is gonna hate this one....**sings - tender crisp bacon cheddar ranch....**
broke out my Fareweather Johnson CD for the ride to work...and now this is stuck in my head..so...

Song of the day:

Hootie And The Blowfish - Let It Breathe
Could we do it again
If he asked how it felt
And I didn't say this time
You tried to scare me with empty thoughts
That means not a thing
'Cause I'm down behind you
Could we swing it again
If I changed how he looked
And turned to the right to bend
You live with something that I can't explain
But your face cracks a smile when you see it shining
You feel things in your own way
And I'm supposed to lay down and bow to you
I'm tired of bailing hay for something that I can't see
I don't want to be you
You don't want to be me.
Just let it breathe
If the moon goes up tomorrow and I'm down on a farm
And you don't believe whose writing with me
Keep your hands to yourself
Keep your mind to yourself
Keep your breath to yourself
Let me float on by you
You see things in your own way
And I'm supposed to lay down and bow to you
I'm tired of bailing hay for something that I can't see
You don't want to be me
I don't want to be you
It's so very necessary
It's so delectable to see a stone
It's so impossible to find a reason
When you're standing there
Watching me now
Could we live it again
If we dressed just the same
And held on to lovers when
We couldn't really live with anyone
See mostly ourselves so just go on lying
You feel things in your own way
And I'm supposed to lay down and bow to you
I'm tired of bailing hay for someone that I can't see
I don't want to be you
You don't want to be me
Just let it breathe
Let it breathe

**PS: the song of the day is not some sort of subliminal message to anyone...it's just whatever is in my head at the time I post...I drive 2 hours a day to work and I have about 1000 cd's so I just grab one for the trip every day...so don't be so vain as to think it's something special...just something to fill in some space...I like to post lyrics in here from time to time for the hell of it from songs I like....nothing more.

2005-03-19T00:06:00.000-05:00

Song of the day:

Slaughter - Fly to the Angels

Pictures of you
they're still on my mind
You had this smile
That could light up the world
Now when it rains it seems
The sun never shines

And I drive
Down this lonely, lonely road
I got this feelin'
Girl I gotta let you go

Though it hurts me way deep inside
When I turn and look and find
That you're not there
I try to convince myself
But the pain,
is still not gone

Still I drive
Down this lonely, lonely road
I got this feelin,
I've got to let you go

But now you've got to fly (fly high)
Fly to the angels
Heaven awaits your heart
And flowers bloom in your name

You've got to fly (fly high)
Fly to the angels
All the stars in the night
Shine in your name

I'm gonna miss you
miss you girl

2005-03-18T00:08:00.000-05:00

blah blah blah...work work work...

....life goes on.

blah blah blah blah....

....life goes on.

2005-03-17T00:45:00.000-05:00

Must be a full moon out tonight...

Mitzi Glitz says:
!

Enjoy yourself bitches...you want to party with the old boy Rick James? says:
o_O

Mitzi Glitz says:
i love you

Enjoy yourself bitches...you want to party with the old boy Rick James? says:
so why u love me...nobody loves me...i'm unlovable...its my lot in life...

Mitzi Glitz says:
cause your my baby

Enjoy yourself bitches...you want to party with the old boy Rick James? says:
lol...u go straight since the last time i talked to you?

Mitzi Glitz says:
lmfao

Mitzi Glitz says:
nope

Enjoy yourself bitches...you want to party with the old boy Rick James? says:
damn...to bad...lol

***soooo.....I rented The Grudge...waste of time...horrible movie. Anchorman is funny though...I'll probably buy that one. Work tomorrow so that sucks...Lee asked me to come over to the other side of the pond and visit someday...think I'll have to take him up on that one, might take two or three weeks off next spring and go visit...he says he hasn't had a chance to go to all of the tourist traps either so it'll be cool to hang out and do some crazy shit...I asked him if we could go to the department store and get chairs and sit and watch TV and read the paper (in the store)...he got a kick out of that...lol. So...I have that to plan out and look forward to...overall it has been productive day and a good night...did a few things that I should have done months ago and have been putting off...talked to a few old friends I have not talked to in a while...had a lot of people calling me to for some reason? I talked to Riff, Thorn, Jay, Jo, Kim, Shannon, and about 4 or 5 other people...strange day.

I heard this song on the radio today for the first time in like forever and now it's in my head...I never really bothered to look up the lyrics before so I decided to make it a blog thing...and with that said...I leave you with a little LL...lmfao:

"Mama Said Knock You Out"

[LL]

C'mon man

[News Report]

And with the local DBT news, LL Cool J with a triumphant comeback
[mumbling]
but tonite...

[LL]

Don't call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear
Makin the tears rain down like a MON-soon
Listen to the bass go BOOM
Explosion, overpowerin
Over the competition, I'm towerin
Wreckin shop, when I drop these lyrics that'll make you call the cops
Don't you dare stare, you betta move
Don't ever compare
Me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced
Competition's payin the price

[Chorus:]

I'm gonna knock you out (HUUUH!!!)
Mama said knock you out (HUUUH!!!)
[REPEAT 4X]

Don't u call this a regular jam
I'm gonna rock this land
I'm gonna take this itty bitty world by storm
And I'm just gettin warm
Just like Muhummad Ali they called him Cassius
Watch me bash this beat like a skull
Cuz u know I had beef wit
Why do u riff with me, the maniac psycho
And when I pull out my jammy get ready cuz it might go
BLAAAAW, how ya like me now?
The river will not allow
U to get with, Mr. Smith, dont riff
Listen to my gear shift
I'm blastin, outlastin
Kinda like Shaft, so u could say I'm shaftin
Old English filled my mind
And I came up with a funky rhyme

[Chorus]
[LL]

Breakdown!!!

Shadow boxin when I heard you on the radio (HUUUH!!!)
I just don't know
What made you forget that I was raw?
But now I got a new tour
I'm goin insane, startin the hurricane, releasin pain
Lettin you know that you can't gain, I maintain
Unless ya say my name
Rippin, killin
Diggin and drillin a hole
Pass the Ol' Gold

[Chorus]

Shotgun blasts are heard
When I rip and kill, at WILL
The man of the hour, tower of power, I'll devour
I'm gonna tie you up and let you understand
that I'm not your average man
when I got a jammy in my hand
DAAAAAM!!!!! Oooooohh!!
Listen to the way I slaaaaay, your crew
Damage (UHH) damage (UHH) damage (UHH) damage
Destruction, terror, and mayhem
Pass me a sissy so suckas I'll slay him
Farmers (What!!!) Farmers (What!!!)
I'm ready (we're ready!!!)
I think I'm gonna bomb a town (get down!!)
Don't u neva, eva, pull my lever
Cuz I explode
And my nine is easy to load
I gotta thank God
Cuz he gave me the strength to rock
HARD!! knock you out, mama said knock you out

[Chorus]

2005-03-16T15:11:00.000-05:00

day off again...another week gone.

not much going on...just busy as usual and lots of snow.

I did get confirmation back on the Nike camp at the Univ. of GA for May 14th and also for the MSL Combine on May 21st at Ga Tech...so I'll be gone those two weekends for football stuff with Garon.

Also, will be gone the weekend of April 2nd with Garon to Va Tech to meet the coaches and take pics for Rivals.com...they have him ranked in the top 50 running backs in the country for the class of 2006 witch is cool...they haven't posted the list yet because they are taking pics on April 2nd at the Va Tech spring game.

anyway lots of shit to do...gotta go...more later (maybe)

2005-03-10T01:17:00.000-05:00

Well, the day off is over...did my usual shit I do on my "day off" which constitutes more work than anything, only this time I decided to take the night off. I rented a couple of DVD's which I have not done that in FOREVER!

I got "Day after tomorrow" and "without a paddle"...just finished watching both...just 4 hours of relaxing and not thinking about shit for a change....it felt good. I liked both movies...without a paddle was pretty funny at times....the hairy legged tree chicks were hot...lol.

anyway...it was a cool day overall...talked to the Riff for a while, which was cool...had not heard from her in 3 or 4 days...good to hear everything was going well...talked to Thorn for a while tonight about some shit...some business and some personal...was cool to catch up on shit...talked to Grace and Lou today...and Garon for a while also...went to the post office and the bank...worked from about 7am to 330pm so I still got my time in on a couple of projects...lol.

bed time now.

2005-03-09T02:16:00.000-05:00

in the "uh...yeah" cataglory:

http://ali-bi-gham.blogspot.com/

http://myedleen.blogspot.com/

http://blukutuk.blogspot.com/

....and one of my personal fav's...random quotes from:

Leon Phelps: What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. You heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leon Phelps: Ya know, when a man works hard his entire life enduring hundreds of ladies, many of whom he does not even remember, you'd like to think that at the end of the day he will be given a lot of money, without having had to earn it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leon Phelps: Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified by that of a man and not by that of a woman.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leon Phelps: Well, listen baby. My car, uh, doesn't exist, so...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leon Phelps: So... you ... don't want a fish sandwich?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leon Phelps: Well...get ready to see a wet bird fly tonight!

2005-03-07T23:31:00.000-05:00

and so the hours become days, days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years, years become decades....and time stands still for no mortal man.

so...i'm not feeling so great today...it's one of those days where you don't really feel like putting up the fight that remains to get out of bed tomorrow. I'm not depressed or anything...far from it...I think I have to much of a desire to "live" and go do whatever it is that makes me happy vs. feeding the corporate machine another 9 hours of my existance. Sometimes I really just want to get in the Mustang and start driving west until I hit Santa Monica Beach. There is so much to see and do and really not much time to do it in.

I'm pretty much a product of my own existance...the choices I've made, the paths I have chosen...it all leads to me right here, right now...and make no mistake...I'm a mess...lmfao....but I don't want to die with a perfect body in great shape...when I go, I hope I'm still a mess...not laid to rest in grave looking perfect and having people say "wow he looked great"...fuck all that...I want to slam in to the darkness worn the fuck out...done...finished..."left it all on the field" sort of thing...I want people to look back and say "wow that bastard made the most of the time he had here"...what good is it to die perfect anyway?

You know for what I have done in life to this point...it's more than most people will ever experience...it's strange to think about really...I've done 5 strategic deterrant patrols on board a nuclear ballistic missile submarine...finished up with more medals and ribbons, pins and hardware in 4 years than most people in the navy get in 20...literally I would walk around on base and see officers and the higher ranking enlisted guys with 10+ years in that didn't have jack shit compared to the hardware I had hanging on my uniform...I've trained with SEALS, seen the sun rise over the African Coast...been fucked up so bad I couldn't function in the Bahamas...worked for no less than 3 Fortune 500 companies...owned my own business which was and is a success...been in bands, managed bands, seen almost every band worth a shit along the way I ever remotely liked...done websites for a few famous people...webmaster for Orgy...help out with starting up and running a record label...lived in more states than I really wish to count...been to college...run one of the coolest fuckin websites you could ever imagine having up over 11,000 members in its prime (we wont go in to the details of that one...lol)...hacked everything that had a power switch, button, knob, or speakers...lol....worked on a movie soundtrack and did some promo stuff...played every major sport on some sort of level...rebuilt a Mustang...made more in a 24 hour period than a lot of people make in a year ($18,000+)...fuck...that's just shit off the top of my head...

Point is...I need to be doing something...not just hanging around and doing a 9-5 'er and wishing I was somewhere else....I don't know...just seems like a waste of time to me. Don't get me wrong...I guess a lot of people would look at that sort of shit and be all happy.

SO what's the big deal...why am I posting this shit? No reason...just bored...figured I would vent a little...guess I'll go get some sleep...scratch this one up to a "blog oddity"...lol.

2005-03-04T02:10:00.000-05:00

Yet another chapter in the "S-Files" (Stripper Files) :

I got stiffed by pauly shore says:
I have a sinus infection now and am on antibiotics that give me the shits

I got stiffed by pauly shore says:
fun

Darkness says:
its that damn pole

Darkness says:
lots of germs

I got stiffed by pauly shore says:
you smartass

I got stiffed by pauly shore says:
some girls lick the pole!

I got stiffed by pauly shore says:
and I go EWWWW!!!!!

Darkness says:
....nasty

2005-02-28T23:51:00.000-05:00

So here's your quote of the day:
"We don't usually live in our finest hour"

...and here is where it came from:

Lala2167: how you doin
Lala2167: not much going on
Lala2167: sick as hell
Lala2167: I was worse last week tho
Mindbinge: getting ready to go to bed
Mindbinge: lol
Lala2167: ahh
Lala2167: how you been tho
Mindbinge: eh...been better
Mindbinge: but who hasnt
Lala2167: lol
Lala2167: true true
Mindbinge: we don't usually live in our finest hour

...so yeah...been a great day...even a better night...glad it's fuckin' over...off to bed and just maybe...a better place.

As Jay would say... "easy"

2005-02-27T20:19:00.000-05:00

Been busy as hell the last few days...no time to update and for some reason Blogger is usually being a whore when I try to post anyway?

So, today I finished up Garon's Highlight DVD...turned out pretty good...not as good as I wanted, but for the time I had to do what I did, I did well. It's different from the one I did for Aaron, which is what I wanted...it would have been easy to just clone Aaron's and put Garons info and film in there...but what fun is that? I decided to go with a full motion animated menu which was something new for me and just 3 main headings...no bonus features...just highlights, awards/paper articles, and a contact page...a lot more simple that what I did for Aaron but it's really nice...hope he likes it and it helps him out somehow.

Working on my MaxSignal shit now (if Simon would send me the damn template...lol) and some D1 shit I need to take care of...then I'm going to hit he bed...might get to watch some TV in there somewhere amongst all that shit...got up at about 830 am and I've been working all day...nice day off huh?

2005-02-24T22:50:00.000-05:00

Ha! they actually let me talk to a customer today and fix some stuff...lmfao...it was kinda cool...made the day go by just a little faster...much needed break from the usual training bore.

anyway...i'm tired and i have billing crap to finish so i'm out.

PS: special thanks to Jay for calling me at 4:25am last night...lmfao.

2005-02-22T13:40:00.000-05:00

If the shoe fits....

cunt ( P ) Pronunciation Key (knt)
n. Vulgar Slang
The female genital organs.
Sexual intercourse with a woman.

Offensive. Used as a disparaging term for a woman.
Used as a disparaging term for a person one dislikes or finds extremely disagreeable.

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[Middle English cunte.]

cunt

n 1: a woman who is thoroughly disliked; "she said her son thought Hilary was a bitch" [syn: bitch] 2: obscene terms for female genitals [syn: puss, pussy, slit, snatch, twat]

*****Also...don't bother with calling me anymore please :) You go your way, I'll go mine...with any luck the paths will not cross*****

2005-02-22T01:14:00.000-05:00

Since we are all being fucking proper....I figured I would start a new part to the old Fuggin Blog 3.0 and have a "word of the day"...well boys and girls...here is the first one:

bitch (N)

-A female canine animal, especially a dog.
Offensive.
-A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
-A lewd woman.
-A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
Slang. A complaint.
Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.

v. Slang bitched, bitch·ing, bitch·es
v. intr.
To complain; grumble.

v. tr.
To botch; bungle. Often used with up.

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Main Entry: bitch
Pronunciation: 'bich
Function: noun
: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals

Source: Merriam-Webster Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

bitch

n 1: an unpleasant difficulty; "this problem is a real bitch" 2: a woman who is thoroughly disliked; "she said her son thought Hilary was a bitch" [syn: cunt] 3: informal terms for objecting; "I have a gripe about the service here" [syn: gripe, kick, beef, squawk] 4: female of any member of the dog family v : say mean things [syn: backbite]

....tune in tomorrow when we look at the next "word of the day"...yep, that's right...it's our old friend "cunt"!

This has been sponsored by the letters "F" and "U"...please be kind and always rewind.

:)

2005-02-21T00:33:00.000-05:00

Lots of stuff going on over the past two days...mostly just boring work related stuff.

First off...looks like I can finally stop worrying about Aaron...he left Friday to go visit Cumberland University in KY...talked to the coaches there and worked out for them on Saturday and I guess they offered him a full ride on the spot. This has really gone from a pain in the ass hunt for a home to play football to just about the best situation we could have hoped for. Here is the run down:

He wanted to go to UK, but they have no scholarships avail right now...so no big deal because he has a $4k pell grant per year and a $4k scholarship per year through a work program he has been in since 9th grade...out of state tuition at UK is $11K per year so he could have gotten student loans to cover the rest. We talked with the coaches at UK, they saw a lot of film on him...wanted him to go there...but in reality he would not be starting until he was a JR...and if they red shirted him it would be 3 years down the road before he started.

So, after talking with the coaches here and at UK, we figured out that Cumberland would be a great fit, Aaron could go there, get a full ride...basically make $8k per year to go to school counting the grant and the scholarship he has. After that he can transfer to UK and play as a Jr and SR or 5th year SR....in the mean time he can still play and work out to get bigger/faster....which is what he really needs and wants to do...I think in the long run as long as he doesn't get hurt at Cumberland this is the best possible situation considering that UK can't give him a full ride. Plus, the big advantage is that once he transfers to UK he gets in state tuition which will save him another $12K over 2 years.

Next...I have been working on server shit on and off for the past few days...it works for a while and then craps out again...so I spent most of today just working on that and i think maybe it will be ok now...its not bee right for at least 4 months...should be getting better and making my life a lot easier in the process.

Overall I think I am slowly starting to climb out of the depressive hole I have been burried under that is full of work to do...I pretty much have D1 all lined out except for a couple of things that are not really major that need to be updated (possibly next week)...and I have the maximumsignal shit to deal with which is almost finished now...so...overall it's moving along well...Cingular seems to be starting to move along and I'm almost done with phase 1 training and should move to phase 2 on March 6th. Which means the boring part is almost over...thank god.

If I could just get a few more things to line out, life would actually resemble something that was almsot...dare I say it...*good*. I guess thats a bit of a stretch to say for now, Feb has been a fucked up month so far...which usually it is that way for me anyway...i'm usually depressed and wanting spring to get here as fast as possible...this year it has been good and bad...I'm sort of mixed feelings about a lot of stuff that has gone on.

My friend Justin was supposed to see his aunt today, shes the girl I have known since I guess about 4th grade or so...we were good friends but I have not seen her in a very long time...ended up working with her older brothers son...even though she doesn't live here anymore...strange how things work out...small world...should have some news from her tomorrow...hope it's good...I'd really like to talk to her again sometime and catch up on things...she is one of the few people I would actually like to talk to again that I lost touch with over the years.

Not much else to say...today was boring, and for my "day off"...I worked my ass off...off to get a few hours of sleep for now.

2005-02-18T01:19:00.000-05:00

so I finally got my server shit fixed...now it's to late to do anything so I'm going to try to wrap shit up tomorrow night.

tonight was pretty cool...filled with weird shit and conversations both had and missed...talked to Riff for a while and watched Survivor, CSI, and some weird ass Real Sex shit on HBO...realized...I'm not such a freak after all...lmfao...I could have done without seeing the blowjob class, the nerdy bitch who collects vintage dildos, and a circle of hippies in the woods having sex....but...when the black guy said "pussy is like watermelon" it was all worth watching...to bad i didn't have the Tivo going or I'd have a new phone message for my voicemail...lmfao. classic.

not much else going on...

Sleep!